Seven Nation Army should be our national anthem.
Seven Nation Army should be the national anthem for the United States of America.
That’s it. That’s the pitch.
Look. We know we need a new national anthem. The Star-Spangled Banner served its purpose, but we can do better. Let’s talk it through.
On retiring TSSB
First, it’s a bummer of a song. It commemorates getting pummeled by our enemy (the Brits) in a war that nobody remembers (_ of 1812). The song was first a poem (embarrassing) and then set to music by borrowing another tune (from the British).
The song wasn’t even adopted as the National Anthem until 1931, which means it was over a hundred years old before we finally assigned it this role. And it’s been in this role for less than century. For a nation that’s founded on the idea of new beginnings and renewal - that doesn’t sit right.
And we barely know what it means. Of the four stanzas of the poem, we only sing one in the anthem. That’s enough - with its tortuous sentence structure, its archaic terms (ramparts?), and weird hanging questions (does it yet wave?) - nobody wants to sing the second, third, or fourth stanzas.
AND It’s famously hard to sing! At the beginning of every ballgame, there’s a tense pause of awkwardness while we discover if the featured singer can even pull off TSSB. Most of the time, they can’t, or struggle through it, and the crowd winces appreciatively as the singer struggles with the huge tonal range. High parts, low parts, it’s a mess.
We certainly don’t sing along.
Seven Nation Arm does not have these problems.
I'm gonna fight 'em off.
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back.
We LOVE singing along to this one. It’s perfect.
You know the tune. Every high school band in the country knows the tune and they’re just itching to play it: DUM. DUH-DUH DUM DUM DUM. DUM. Drums. Brass. We LOVE this. It’s BIG. It’s BRASH. It’s LOUD. It’s a TAUNT. It’s aggressive, it’s warlike, it’s got SWAGGER. It’s good on any instrument.
It’s EASY to sing. We can’t stop singing it. We shout the tune in groups, in stadiums, at clubs. Plus It’s ABOUT independence and self-reliance. It’s a paean to self-determination. It’s outward-facing, and it dares anyone else to get in our way.
And the message comin' from my eyes
Says, "Leave it alone"
Seven Nation Army is more American than apple pie. Written by people from DETROIT, for crying out loud, in a ROCK song. It’s a shining example of an artform created and perfected by bold, naive, passionate young people - the story of the United States writ large.
And it’s ABOUT Independence - US style. Our Founding Fathers were young men! They boldly declaring their independence! Seven Nation Army captures this exactly: willfully independent, us-against-the-world, and fuck-you if you disagree. Imagine the podium moments at the Olympics if THAT was the song we played!
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell
And if this isn’t the American story, what is? Go west, make a new home, work hard, and do it yourself.
And the feelin' comin' from my bones
Says, "Find a home"
I'm goin' to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleedin', and I'm bleedin', and I'm bleedin'
Right before the Lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
Think no more, my fellow Americans. We have the perfect Anthem for us. Maybe you disagree?
And that ain’t what you want to hear
But that’s what I’ll do
DUM. DUH-DUH DUM DUM DUM. DUM.
DUM. DUH-DUH DUM DUM DUM. DUM.